What does an engineer look like?

There has been a lot of buzz on the internet regarding the female engineer at OneLogin that has started the revolutionary #ILookLikeAnEngineer campaign. Firstly, I want to applaud this movement because I think it is very important to acknowledge that there is not a direct relationship between what you look like and your engineering prowess. And like many people representing minorities in their field, I know what it is like to be discounted by my appearance, to be assumed to be an administrative assistant etc. And while I strongly hope that movements like this will help chip away at deep set stereotypes about what we expect from engineers, I think that the discussion is missing how people on the front lines are dealing with these expectations on a daily basis.

For example, I grew up loving the color pink. In high school, almost every outfit I owned had pink in it. I wore cute heels and ribbons in my hair. But if I was to rock out that much pink at work, let alone with ribbons and 3 inch heels- this would be considered unprofessional. The heels would be considered unsafe by many of my coworkers (and by myself), and the other style choices would make me look "less serious". Technically, it would all be within the confines of the dress code (close toed shoes, etc.). But often times, the dress code is vague because it is written for men's clothing and doesn't specifically include all of the options women have (who would have thought that flats are not considered close toed because they are "open footed").

So over the years that I've worked as an engineer in an industrial setting, I've learned to dress at work "like an engineer". Practical, not particularly fashion forward, minimal pink, and fairly conservative. And I realize that this sounds totally un-feminist, and it could be argued that by dressing as a Plain Jane at work I'm feeding into the stereotype. But I don't have the time to wait for the people around me to awaken to the social Renaissance when I just want to be seen first as an engineer today in this meeting with these new people.

I remember a moment at a safety fair for my company when I stopped by the booth for safety glasses right after I had made some sort of presentation (and therefore was wearing kitten heels and a somewhat cute but still practical outfit). I was wearing glasses at the time, so it was clear that I could probably use some prescription safety glasses.

When I asked for information, the man at the booth looked me up and down and said, "We don't provide glasses unless you actually go into the plant."

I responded, "I do go into the plant."

"Only for people whose job takes them into the plant, if you are going on your own accord you should be responsible for finding your own equipment."

"My job requires that I go into the plant..."

"Wait, what do you do?"

"I'm an engineer."

"Oh... Then we have several options..." he continued his rehearsed talk while I stood wondering why I had just been grilled about my profession at an internal fair from the same guy who was trying to stop other people as they passed by his booth.

But moments like that are fleeting, and not nearly as damaging as when a women in a stylish new dress walks out of a meeting.  When I see how both men and women react to her (the jokes made when they leave the room, the fact that people see them as a date and not an engineer), it just makes me want to blend in and be one of the guys. When you have to prove yourself to new people on a regular basis, why would you put more hurdles in your way?

That said, I do not believe that women should be discounted based on what they choose to wear. But, I think it is impractical to view the world as a place where we are not discounted based on superficial things. So I believe that whatever you decide to wear should have some thought in the reactions you want to have. In an industrial setting like mine, that means something completely different than an office setting, or a lab setting. As a result, my presentation of myself at work has completely changed as I change industries.

What do you think? Is there a unspoken limit on what you should wear to work in order to present yourself as woman in engineering?

Cheers,

Vanessa

How To Channel Creativity Through Engineering

In many ways, I fit perfectly into the mold of a stereotypical engineer. I like math, I can rock a pair of nerdy looking glasses, I like to run experiments outside of work, I have a stack of work related magazines on my coffee table, and I make awkward jokes that only my scientific brethren understand.

But stereotypes are by definition oversimplified (and therefore often inaccurate) ideas of who a person is, there are also many ways in which I do not fit into the social construct of the idea of an engineer. First off, I'm a woman. But we've already discussed that in detail in this blog. Secondly, I consider myself a creative person, and I consider engineering a creative pursuit.

Most other people (engineers and non-engineers alike) seem to define engineering as a particularly un-creative field. A field where you sit in a dark cubicle and follow rules and calculate the same thing over and over. But if that were true, we'd have replaced engineers with robots or computer programs long ago.

Contrary to popular belief, we aren't machines that churn out data

In my opinion, a good engineer is much like an artist. Instead of mixing pigments for paint, we blend ideas and numbers and apply them to create something new. And no matter how small, that something new gets used, and in many ways it makes people feel. I feel happy when you get a new phone, I feel disgusted when the water filtration system doesn't work, I feel safe when I use the lock on my door, and I feel a little scared when I see something dangerous. And just like that painting I so carefully selected for my living room, over time I take these things become part of my expected environment and I begin to take for granted how awesomely they are.

Sometimes, it's hard even for engineers to see ourselves as creative people. We get lost in the documentation and the details, like a cellist who spends so long practicing a difficult measure that she forgets she is making music. But if you come up for air, you have a chance of seeing the impact that your role can make in the greater piece of artwork. Your unique solutions to a problem play into the overall innovative item at the end.

Perhaps this explains why so many of the engineers I know pursue artistic outlets outside of work, from classical instruments, to heavy metal bands, to ballroom dance, to painting. And also why some famous artists like Leonardo da Vinci were also brilliant inventors.

So next time you meet an engineer, don't assume that they are just another number cruncher. The best of engineers will truly be creating the solutions of our future.

Love,

Vanessa

PS. What creative things have you or somebody you know done as an engineer?

Coming Out (or Not) To Your Co-Workers As a Bisexual Female Engineer

In light of recent news events, I thought that it was important to address the ~10% of the population who is LGBTQ and may be interested in engineering. In a field of work where it can already be difficult to be a woman, it can be daunting to have to figure out how to handle being a member of the LGBTQ community. Since I can only imagine what it is like to have an additional hurdle to jump over in the maze that is the engineering profession, I found a bad ass female engineer (who we'll call Dr. Valerie Green) to tell her story.

Coming Out (Or Not) To Your Co-Workers as a Bisexual Female

“Do you have any fun weekend plans with your boyfriend?”

My heart started beating in panic and I stared at my male coworker sheepishly, not knowing what to say. I had been at my company for a few months, fresh out of school, and I didn’t know much about my coworkers. I wanted to make a good impression and avoid offending anyone, but constantly having to hide your personal life was becoming difficult.

“Um, I actually don’t have a boyfriend,” I decided to settle on.

He scoffed in disbelief. “Ha! Yeah, right.” A moderately attractive female, surrounded by mostly males throughout college and now at work, without a boyfriend? Surely I must jest.

But I wasn’t joking. I am engaged to a woman that I love with my entire being, and I was used to referring to her as all sorts of things — my roommate, my friend, a mysterious, genderless “person” I was dating — but I didn’t want to start off with telling a lie to people that I was going to work with for many years. So I just avoided the topic like it was the head cold traveling around the office.

I thought I was clever when I started at the company and put a picture of her on my desk, holding one of our cats. If anything screams “lesbian”, I thought, it would be that. I could subtly come out and avoid any awkward conversations because people would just assume. But the man in question that assumed I had a boyfriend had seen the picture many times. My coworker sitting next to me just said he thought it was a friend. I asked one of my friends and he said he would have assumed it was my sister. A picture on my desk of a girl, of a different race than me, holding a cat — the first thought that would enter his mind would be “sister”. This was going to be harder than I thought.

When I’m behind closed doors with my fiancé, I forget that she’s female (okay, I don’t exactly forget, I just forget that it’s supposed to be weird). When I step outside, and forget for a second that if I hold her hand, or give her a peck on the cheek, it’s not normal anymore — people start staring and I’m immediately reminded that I have to be conscious of all of my actions. I remember that she’s a girl instantly. It wasn’t this way when I dated men, no, if someone passed you intensely sucking face with your boyfriend they wouldn’t give you a second glance. That stuff happens all the time. Two girls walking down the street, not even making out, but just holding hands? Be prepared for a crowd, whispers, giggles, and random guys yelling “hot!”

But when I’m at work, I am very conscious about my sexuality. I am very ambitious. I want to advance my career. I spent a long time getting my PhD and I am not going to be turned down for a job offer or a promotion because someone feels uncomfortable about my sexual orientation. When we’re all shooting the breeze and talking about our significant others, or our weekend plans, I always make mine very vague. Recently I went on an international trip and one of my coworkers asked “who are you going with?” I responded “oh just friends you know…” and then pardoned myself to the bathroom to prevent the conversation from going any further. I know so much about their lives and I’ve revealed very little about mine. It’s a barrier I long to break, to become human to them — but I can’t. At least, not yet.

There is one coworker I’ve gotten to know decently well; I have spent a little bit of time outside work with him. After some time, I started to feel comfortable with him. I came to learn that he is liberal, about the same age as me, and seems to be very laid back. As scared as I was, I decided to come out to him. He was very taken aback and said he did not see it coming at all, but since then he’s been very supportive, and has told me which people in the group wouldn’t care and which might. And he confirmed that even if they did think something negative about it, no one would actually say or do anything. Even though it wasn’t the entirely positive response that one would hope for, it did make me less afraid to come out to the rest of my coworkers.

There’s also a limit to waiting too long, becoming too distant and fearful that people feel like they might not really know you, and in my experience, people may end up surprising you. I spent four and a half years in an office with a lot of international students that I knew very well professionally but not very well personally. I came out to the Americans in my office almost instantly, and all of them responded positively. Eventually, I started to get close with a Muslim man in my office. As we got closer, I felt that I was lying to him by not telling him about the fact that I was in a relationship with a girl. One day, I took him on a walk. I started to cry. In fact, I started to sob. I thought that there was a chance he wouldn’t want to be friends with me anymore. After I told him, he hugged me and told me that he would always be my friend and that nothing would change. Less than a year later, a Chinese girl in the office walked up to me and told me that she knew I had a girlfriend. And that she was happy for me, and that anyone who wasn’t happy for me wasn’t really my friend. That made my eyes watery, because I had hid that fact about me from her for so long, and it ended up not mattering at all. If I could go back and do it all over, I’d have more courage. 

However, there is no reason to jeopardize your future by pissing off someone you don’t know very well yet. Let them know who you are as a person, and that you’re kind, hard-working, reliable, and not scary or gross. Whether we like it or not, first impressions count, and snap judgments are made about you from what people initially know about you. It can either be “Oh, that new girl is a lesbian” or it can be “Oh yeah, I heard Valerie is queer. No biggie." You’re the same person they’ve known and worked with for a while now, there’s just an aspect of their personality that you didn’t expect. Ease them into it. It’s hard not to stand up for what you believe in and to hide a major part of your life, but it’s also hard to bite your tongue when your boss gives you an assignment that you absolutely despise. A lot of things in life are hard. Many people who don’t fully understand the situation will give you poor advice like “just tell them you’re into chicks and if they don’t like it then fuck 'em!” No. Don’t listen to those people. Well, if you don’t value your career that much, then you can listen to those people. But weigh your options. Play it safe until you feel like your group really knows you do good work and that you’re a good person. 


I will come out to many more of my coworkers soon, when the time is right. I’m not going to force it, but I’m not going to hide it, either. 

-Dr. Valerie Green

Why Being A Female Engineer is Awesome: Part 2

It may be 2015, but a lot of people still don't think that women should be (or are) engineers. But in reality, there are many female engineers, and it's a pretty fantastic career to have. So, I'm working on slowly compiling a list of (somewhat silly) reasons why it's actually awesome to be a female engineer. Check out Part 1 of this series if you haven't seen it yet!

Why Being a Female Engineer is Awesome: Part 2

Because An Engineer Is Basically A Superhero(ine)

No matter what discipline, engineering at its core is the study of problem solving. Just like the Xavier Institute taught X-Men how to control their powers, engineering school teaches you how to harness your math and science and reasoning skills to create efficient solutions to problems that plague people every day.

When you look around yourself, you may be surprised at how many engineers helped create the things around you. Obviously the computer, tablet, phone, or other device you are using to read this was created with the help of hundreds of engineers. We all know what computers do, and how they've changed our world.

So let's look at a simpler case, the light bulb. Sure, it was "invented" a long time ago, but there are still hundreds of engineers working on developing new light bulbs that can do everything from save people money to mimic sunlight in order to make people happier, more productive, and less tired than the light bulbs we had just a few years ago. As a result, a small change like a better light bulb could mean that a struggling single mother has a few more dollars to help make ends meet at the end of the year, or that people are less grumpy during the work day and more content with their lives. And, engineers helped make that happen.

And even more basic, thousands of engineers devote their careers to creating electricity so that you can turn on the light bulbs, computers, phones, and tablets you take for granted. And so that doctors can power tools (also created with the help of engineers) that can see past human flesh and find the cause of ailments without drawing a drop of blood. Try and tell me that isn't just as great as when Superman flew so fast he reversed time.

But even things without a plug are made with the help of engineers. There are the sneakers you wear, whose materials are engineered for durability, performance, and comfort. And the windows you gaze out longingly may be engineered to shatter in a way to prevent you from getting injured, or to not let off poisonous fumes in case of a fire. The water you drink has been purified by a system designed and maintained by engineers (unless you happen to live in a remote area with super clean springs where you slake your thirst each morning with Bambi and Thumper).  Even the makeup you wear has a team of engineers and scientists working to perfect it.

I could go on and on, but pretty much everywhere I look- I see something that has been carefully designed by an engineer. And each one of these things makes my life just a little bit nicer. Some women have told me that they didn't choose engineering because they wanted to be in a profession where they could help people, but I truly believe that engineers help people (although often total strangers) every day.

But this just describes why it is awesome to be an engineer, not a female engineer. If I'm being completely honest (which you know I love to be), I believe that a lot of society is built around the idea that women are dependent creatures who need others to solve their problems. In the movies, you always see superheros rescue beautiful women from their problems. And while on the worst of days the idea of having someone fly in and punch all your demons in the face can be quite tempting, the idea of getting to swoop in and save the day yourself is tempting even on the best of days.

As a female engineer, I've haven't only learned how to solve difficult math problems under pressure. Through my experience creating new systems I've discovered that I can at least try to fix any problem that comes my way from broken pipes, to car trouble, to computer problems. I know it sounds trivial to many other women in our profession (of course you can fix anything you set your mind to). But from what I can see, even in our "modern society" the number of women who feel they can't fix the most minor household issue is almost equivalent to the number of men who "can't cook". You'd be surprised how many times my girlfriends have asked for help hanging pictures, fixing squeaky doors, or doing other things that I or the men they ask for help are not particularly qualified to do.

While there is no harm interacting with other people and working as a team, finding your own independence is essential. Between learning that you are capable of fixing complex problems, and getting the bi-weekly paycheck to cover all of your living expenses- engineering is a career that provides complete independence. As an engineer you can not just be a superhero, you can be your own superhero. And from that perspective, it is a pretty awesome job to have.

Love,

Vanessa

PS. Why do YOU love being an engineer?

Why You Should Date a Female Engineer

For whatever reason, one of the top questions people ask Google that lead to this blog is "why should you date a female engineer". So curious people of the internet, I will take a break from my normal content and give you a <sarcasm> totally unbiased </sarcasm> answer to your question.

[Note: before you get too upset, read the paragraph after the list...]

1. She's too busy to be clingy. Engineers can work some pretty ridiculous hours, so you can't expect her to be sitting around waiting for your text.
2. Years of working with socially inept people makes her forgiving of your social faux pas. You'd have to be super awkward in order to make her feel weird. Your bad self can probably still get away with sandals and socks on occasion.
3. She's trained to consider facts over emotional responses. Contrary to popular belief, this doesn't mean she is dead inside. 
4. If you are a technical person, she's interested in what you did at work today. No more eyes glazing over, she understands what you did and can ask you questions to show she was actually listening. 
5. She knows how to be one of the guys. She won't embarrass you in front of your boys because she knows how to blend into a group of dudes. 
6. She can apply a deep understanding of physics, biology, and chemistry to your relationship. Yup. I went there. 
7. She likes nerdy movies just as much as you do. She won't judge how much you like the Avengers or X-Men, because she loves them too. 
8. She's good under pressure. If anything in your relationship is more stressful than her job, then you are doing something wrong. 
9. She will support you in your endeavors to make your own sandwich. And you should really acquire this life skill and not expect a woman to do it for you. As they say, give a man a sandwich feed him for lunch. Teach a man to make a sandwich, do more useful things with your engineering degree. 
10. She won't call you to fix things around the house. She can fix them herself, thank you very much. Unless it's a gross bug, or a dead animal. Then all the rules go out the window; they don't teach that stuff in thermo.
11. She is a pro at building a solid foundation to any relationship, and knows how to make sparks fly. Yeah, I'm not sure what this one ever is supposed to mean. It's 100% here for a reach pun. I hope you enjoyed it.
12. She will laugh at your lame puns. See the number 11.
13. She's low maintenance. She's learned to sacrifice wearing fashionable dresses and stiletto heels for coveralls and steel toed boots in the name of practicality. 
14. If you have a problem, she'll fix it. Engineers are problem solvers, and we are trained to fix problems instead of just feeling sorry about it.
15. She's not desperate. 

Really, why should a female engineer date you?

If you couldn't tell, this list is a joke. While female engineers are a smaller group than most, there is still a wide range of personalities involved. So, not everyone fits inside the box of what you may think of as a stereotypical female engineer. I don't meet many of the items I've listed above myself. There is about as much reason to date a female engineer as there is to date a scuba diver, or a waitress, or a teacher, or anyone else- you should date someone for who they are. A woman's (or a man's) chosen profession is only a piece of the story of who she (or he) is, and shouldn't be a deciding factor in whether or not you date her (or him).

Cheers,

Vanessa

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How To Survive Making a Mistake

On this blog we've mentioned awesome performance reviews, bosses complimenting your hard work, and management admitting how much of an asset you are. And yes, we've gotten a lot of positive feedback on our work over the years. But, everyone makes mistakes and I am no exception.

The truth is that making a mistake in the engineering world can be extremely terrifying. In many engineering positions, you are directly responsible for the safety of people. Think airplanes, cars, boats, water filtration plants, and so many other systems. An engineering error in these systems could prove fatal. Even when you aren't responsible for life safety, a mistake could cause millions of dollars of damage to the company. And while engineering organizations have many safeguards in place to make sure their systems are safe, engineers themselves are still human and can make errors. 

As a new engineer, sometimes it's you that causes the error. Usually because no matter how smart you are, you may not know enough about the nitty-gritty details of your new profession to know that you are making a mistake. That's exactly what happened to me once at my last job. 

It was a typical day at work, and my phone rang. 

"This is Vanessa," I said, as I continued typing. 

"Vanessa, this is bad," said a man on the other end, a client from a project that was being installed. 

I stopped typing, and paused for a moment. "What?"

"Did you tell somebody to install this [very standard part you've used in every other design with no problems]?" 

"Yes... Why?" my heart started to beat quickly. 

"Why the fuck did you do that! It's completely wrong. You better pray it works and start polishing up your resume, because if it doesn't work both of us will be out of a job.You know if you screw this up you'll have costed us [unimaginable amounts of money]. Really Vanessa, what were you thinking? I've got to try to clean up this mess." 

He slammed the phone. Stunned, I slowly lowered the phone down into it's cradle. I silently stood up, walked to the bathroom, and immediately vomited. It wasn't intentional, I just was honestly so stunned and terrified, I literally got sick. And then I sat on the bathroom floor (gross, I know) my mind was abuzz. I normally take feedback very well, but thinking that I was the root of a problem this big was causing me to completely unravel. 

How could I have known? College didn't teach me the mundane details about industrial equipment, and nobody had ever suggested that there was a problem. It was such a standard and seemingly insignificant part of the system, I never doubted it would work.  How was I so stupid? If this isn't right, what else is wrong? If I didn't know this basic fact, how many other mistakes did I make in the design? Should I even be an engineer? Maybe I should just give up and do something else. I can write. I should be a writer, then I won't cost companies millions of dollars and ruin peoples careers.  

I wanted to hide, to disappear. I started wondering if I could just leave work, and never come back without having to confront the problem. I was ashamed and incredibly scared of what might happen. 

There, sitting on the office bathroom floor like a complete nut job, I texted a good friend (who isn't an engineer) and told her I was freaking out. She managed to talk me out of my downward spiral, and helped me realize that hiding in the bathroom wouldn't insulate me from my mistake. 

So I sucked it up, went back to my cubicle, and began to research the problem. Within 24 hours, I'd found a way to use the same part in a different way in order to solve the problem. Yes, I may have made a mistake, thrown up at work, tried to hide in the office bathroom, and cried myself to sleep. But in the end, I solved the problem and learned something to help me in the future. Long term, the the part I was most ashamed of was my reaction to the mistake and not the mistake itself. 

I realized from this experience (and others that followed) that some of my clients had a little bit of a flare for the dramatic.Who can blame them? They are all under an immense amount of pressure. and until we had a solution everyone was in the same mistake purgatory. But I've realized that spending time fretting about an error doesn't get me any closer to the solution (even if everyone else is freaking out). So instead, I've changed and adopted a much more level headed approach to dealing with mistakes.

Treat every mistake the same way. Understand the consequences, but treat it like a problem in school. This allows you to gain emotional distance and approach the situation with a clear head.

Assigning blame is a waste of time.  Whether it was the fault of someone you hardly know, your arch nemesis, or even your own fault, assigning blame just makes people nervous and makes it less likely that you'll get relevant information about the problem at hand. That said, do not accept blame for something you did not do. A lot of people react poorly in the wake of an error, and you should not volunteer yourself to be a scapegoat. 

Use your engineering training. I started typing steps for how to identify and solve problems, but as an engineer you already know this.

Ask for help, and fail loudly. If you don't have the tools to succeed, ask for help. Nobody can do everything, and it's better to let management have the chance to step in and help (especially if it is an issue related to safety) than to hide the problem until it's too late to fix.

Hopefully, these tips will help you find your way to the light at the end of the tunnel after a mistake.

Love,

Vanessa

Gender in the Contracting World

Everyone in the contracting world knows that a large portion of business is done outside of the office. Whether it is on the golf course, in a bar over drinks, at dinner, or one of countless other ways, a lot of getting and keeping big clients is about forging personal relationships. People are more likely to hire somebody they feel like they know and trust than some random stranger. So when two men go out for drinks or dinner, it is just good business. But when a young single woman goes out with a man for drinks or dinner... What exactly is that?

The first few times a client asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner and drinks just the two of us, I made up excuses not to go. I didn't want to end up accidentally on a date, and something about going out with a strange (sometimes married) man seemed like I would be targeted as a girl who was "asking for it" even if I had completely genuine intentions. I considered asking my management or HR for advice, but I felt like it made me sound presumptuous and I was too embarrassed to ask. Plus everyone in management and HR was male, so would they really understand? Instead, I just avoided the situations all together. But as time went on (and after many lengthy philosophical discussions with my friends in similar industries), I realized I was screwing myself out of opportunities by discriminating against myself because of my own gender.

I began to ask myself, "Would this be inappropriate if I was a man?" and unless the question involved the men's bathroom, if it was appropriate for a man I decided it was appropriate for me. So I started to accept offers for business dinners, drinks, and other outings, even if it was just me and a guy (although if I knew he was married, I usually casually suggested bringing his wife). I was careful to draw a line for myself by reverse engineering all the typical signs that "she is totally into you" to make sure that my intentions were always extremely clear: no physical contact at all, don't touch my hair, don't talk about my relationships, use a napkin instead of absent-mindedly licking my lips (especially if we were out getting wings and beer), keep your distance from him where possible, and be careful about how you tease them. Even when walking on eggshells, there was still always the chance that something I did would be taken the wrong way.

I realize that it's kind of ridiculous that I went to these great lengths when in a perfect world I should have just been able to be myself. And I realize that if my list of requirements for a woman's behavior at a business dinner was handed out that a lot of people would be all over how anti-feminist it was. But the truth is that if things got weird, I'm the one who would suffer the most. If things got weird my clients would be more likely to drop my contracting firm, which in turn would make it look like I wasn't doing a good job. On their end, they could just fill my place with one many other contractors, and there would be essentially no change. Maybe that's not how it should be, but that is how it was.

Even when I was very careful, sometimes I would find myself slipping into situations where I felt out of control. Like the time a client asked me if I wanted to spend the weekend at his cabin. Or the time a different client invited me to stay over to his house at 10 pm when I was in a nearby hotel. Or the time a client was insisting that he come hang out in my hotel late on a weeknight. If the line wasn't at dinner and drinks, than where was the line? On one hand it still murkily passed the "would this be weird if I was man" test (they might really just want to hang out). But in the context of the specific relationship those still just sounded like trouble and I would decline or figure out a way to bring another coworker or client along. 

Even if there is nothing but a completely professional relationship where both of you are extremely clear on the boundaries, there is always the question of "what does everyone else think"? Once I had forged strong professional relationships with clients, my bosses and coworkers used to note that it was odd that many of my clients would call me directly regarding projects that weren't even mine. My coworkers were especially vocal about teasing me for ridiculous reasons why they hadn't been called first like:

"Joe just wants to talk to you because he wants to hear the voice of a woman."  No, he just knows me and trusts that I will solve the problem. 

"Joe and Vanessa went out on a romantic dinner last night, he's just calling to follow up." No, we grabbed burgers after working a 14 hour day. 

"Joe's totally in love with Vanessa." No. No. No. No. No. 

On one hand, there was no real measurable impact of these comments and jokes. My clients loved me (but weren't in love with me), and my coworkers didn't control the business I got. On the other hand, I felt like comments about me winning business because by being a femme fatale (which was ridiculous) instead of an engineer who happened to be awesome at networking would slowly chip away at my reputation. As my friend Ruby has pointed out to me, people only make jokes that they believe are true on some level. And can you imagine these comments being made to a man in my position? 

My point is that for women (especially single women) in a heavily male dominated contracting world, you are kind of damned if you do and damned if you don't. Our business relationships are often tainted with some level of weirdness, whether it is perceived by us or outsiders, that doesn't impact single gender relationships. It's treated as a weirder occurrence than married guys going to a strip club on their lunch breaks. It seems the only way to try to avoid the weirdness is by installing a glass ceiling above your own head as a barrier, and even that doesn't always work. It's one of the reasons I left contracting, and have moved to the other side of the table where there is no way I can be accused of whoring myself out for engineering work.

While I am much happier on this side of the table, I still wonder if there is any way to fix the Catch-22 situation where female contractors are currently stuck. And I know most engineers have never even considered it, or realize how bad it can be. 

What are your thoughts? Have any of the male readers ever felt the same weirdness as contractors?

Love, 

Vanessa

How to Find A Mentor

The other day I was telling my friends a story that an old mentor told me, and I realized me saying "my mentor" was about as specific as Henry VIII of England saying "my ex-wife". Even though I learned all sorts of theories in school, the moment I stepped foot into a real office I needed somebody to show me the ropes and teach me how to actually do what I had practiced so many times in theory. Many work environments have assigned mentors or particularly helpful people who will watch out for you. But if they don't, finding a mentor can be a scary proposition.

Here's some tips I've learned over the years about finding mentors:

No "Define The Relationship" talk is required. Before I started full time work, I read a lot of books which suggested walking into someones office and asking if they would be your mentor. A mentor and mentee relationship doesn't have to be a formalized process involving three letters of recommendation, weekly progress reports, and regular meetings. In my mind, a mentor is just somebody who you can count on to provide guidance. In engineering, I've noticed a lot of experienced people can be intimidated by the idea of having a formalized mentoring relationship because of the time commitment required. By just casually asking questions when you need help, you get to avoid an awkward conversation and most people are more than happy to spare a few minutes here and there to help you.

Nobody wants to deal with this awkward moment

Have multiple mentors. In most environments, everyone has something different at which they excel. Each mentor you have can offer a different perspective on your work and your career, and splitting the work of mentoring makes your personal improvement less of a burden on the mentors themselves. You don't have one professor in college, so why learn exclusively from one person after you graduate? Identify what you want to improve about yourself, and find someone (or multiple people!) to help you do that.

Don't limit yourself by your job description. Sometimes the mentor that you need for a specific task is not in your department. Sometimes they are not even an engineer. For example, I've learned a lot from the union workers and technicians about how parts actually function in the real world (not just on paper), and I've learned from administrative assistants how I can fast track processes.

Communicate your questions clearly. If you are worried about seeming incompetent for a question you need to ask, pretending you know what you are doing could lead to disaster. You can always ask questions by saying "I understand that *basic information about how the system works*, but I was wondering if you know how *specific question*". By stating what you know as part of the question it both gives relevant background and shows that you are competent.

Ask your own questions. While asking questions is not a bad thing, being the funnel for answers is not a great thing either. When you are new somebody asks you a question you can't answer, give them the information to try to ask the question themselves.

Thank mentors for their time. It's common sense, but when people take time out of their day to help you succeed, make sure you at least say "thank you".

Mentor somebody else. If you expect for other people to help you, remember to give back to the circle of mentoring by helping someone else out. That can mean helping other people learn something you do well, even if they are generally considered more experienced than you. For example, I taught one of my technical mentors how to write basic scripts in Excel.

Mentors are not always right. Getting mentored is great, accepting facts without questioning and understanding them is not. Like all human beings, even mentors can be wrong. So make sure you think about the advice critically.

Love,

Vanessa

The "G-Word"

As I was in the middle of checking a calculation at work today, my phone rang and when I picked it up a woman on the other end said, "Hey girl!"

Did she really just say "hey girl"? I paused, at a complete loss for how to respond. Thankfully, she quickly filled the silence with technical questions and it was back to normal work. But my momentary discomfort reminded me of an incident that had happened years earlier.

In college I was on the executive board of an organization for women in technology that provided a professional and personal support network. I loved the organization, and always looked forward to crafting funny and welcoming emails to go out to our members about the upcoming events we had planned.

One day, my adviser emailed me asking that I come to her office- and the tone sounded more serious than normal. I sat down tentatively, and she took in a deep breath.

"Vanessa, we need to talk about your use of the 'g-word'," she said very carefully.

"Excuse me?" I asked, completely confused.

"The 'g-word'. You've been using the word 'girl' a lot in your emails and I've been getting complaints from some of the members that it's offensive and demeaning. I know you wouldn't intend to offend anyone, but you should probably choose another word."

I was honestly pretty shocked; I hadn't intended to offend anyone. I just wanted to make it sound welcoming and fun.While 'girl' can refer to a child, it can also just refer to a young woman, or a woman of any age. When starting an email, "Hey women!" sounded too formal and awkward, "Hey ladies!" sounded too sassy, and "Hey gals!" sounded like we are from the 1950's. I mean, 'girls night out' isn't demeaning, it just sounds like fun. How else was I supposed to address a group of women? How could a word that I always associated with fun be offending people?

What place would ever advertise a "women's night out"? It just sounds wrong.

I followed my adviser's advice (because she seemed to always be right about these things, even if I couldn't explain it), but it wasn't until I graduated that I began to truly understand why anyone would find this word off putting.

The only time I heard the word 'girl' at work in the first couple of years was dripping in venom. Men who were annoyed with me (or the rare other woman) would say things like, "Tell that girl that I don't think I should have to do that" or "That girl is being unreasonable". The passive aggressive vendor I mentioned in the email blog post is the perfect example of the type of person who enjoyed using the g-word. It was almost like they had done a one for one word replacement with 'bitch', and thought they'd get away with it since 'girl' wasn't technically a bad word.

I suppose they could have used 'woman', 'lady', 'person', 'human', 'engineer', 'genius', or really any word, and you would have been able to hear the same poison and disgust in their tone. But the perpetrators always chose seemed to choose 'girl', perhaps because it had the bonus implication of being young, inexperienced, and immature. As a side note, I always found that ironic because I think that debasing yourself by insulting people at work is rather childish.

That's how I ended up today, answering a phone and feeling momentarily shocked and defensive at a word I used to associate with fun social events. For the first time I can remember in my professional career it was meant in a nice way, so my defensiveness was unnecessary. But I couldn't help but wonder how a seemingly benign word had become such a weapon in the workplace.

I know that there is a pretty awesome, similarly themed P&G commercial about reclaiming the phrase "like a girl", although it mostly has to do with performing physical activities "like a girl". I think it's important to take that one step further; being young woman has nothing to do with competence physically or intellectually. In the workplace, I have been told that the word 'girl' is never appropriate. Admittedly, when it is used by the older generations, it almost always seems to be used in the form of an insult. But perhaps by banning the word we are unintentionally admitting that being a young female is somehow a bad thing.

I am a girl, even though I am not a child. My gender and my age have nothing to do with the quality of my work. Maybe the solution isn't discouraging people from using the word "girl" altogether (and therefore giving it even more power when used negatively), but using it more often in a positive context reclaiming the word and removing the negative stereotypes. What do you think?

Love,

Vanessa

Questions to Ask During an Interview

IT IS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN! Most students are still readjusting to living on campus, but job fairs are starting all over the country and interviews will be soon to follow.

One of the (many) things I used to dread before interviews was what questions to ask my interviewer. I knew that coming in with nothing to ask made you look unprepared, but I never knew what I really needed to know about a potential job (other than a couple questions intended to prove I'd done my research). These questions are an amazing opportunity for you to collect information about different potential careers. Remember, job interviews are a two way street- you need to figure out that you want the job just as much as they need to figure out that they want you.

To help others through the interview question debacle, I've compiled a list of questions which target things that have surprised either me or my friends upon arriving at a new engineering job. A lot of this information may be included in the job description, so make sure to read it carefully and not for information which has already been provided to you. Note that this is most relevant for personal interviews, not technical interviews. If you have the opportunity to ask questions at the end of a technical interview it wouldn't be totally out of line, just know your audience.

BONUS TIP: For those of you who identify closer to the socially awkward end of the spectrum (you know who you are), make sure to consider your tone as you ask these questions. You want to sound conversational and not like you are grilling the interviewer in a murder investigation. If you aren't sure how you are being perceived, practice asking your questions to a friend or family member before the actual interview.

What is the position? 

I can't even begin to tell you how many job postings I've seen that say something along the lines of "Engineer needed to work with cross functional team to develop quality products and solve problems." Note that this could be a description for literally any engineering job on the face of the planet. All it really tells you is that somebody who knows nothing about engineering wrote this (probably somebody in HR who was just told "we need more engineers!"). So in your interview, ask some follow up questions like: What niche are you looking to fill in your organization that has motivated you to hire for this position? What other departments or people would I be working with? What product or type of product will I be working on? If you have technical people on your interview board, you can also ask: What type of engineer are you looking to hire? People with technical backgrounds close to yours will be likely to give you a technical answer to this particular question, while business people will be more likely to give you a general "somebody who can engineer" type of answer that won't really help you.

Use the answers to relate your skills to the job for which they are hiring before asking the next question on your list. Creating a dialogue will make the interview feel more natural for you and your interviewer, and will allow you the chance to sell yourself after the initial round of questions.

In addition to helping you get the job, these questions will help prevent the bate and switch. By this I mean some job titles say "engineer" but you don't get to actually engineer anything. Knowing what work will be required in the position will help you decide between potential offers down the line.

What engineering tools do you use for the job I would be doing? 

Many job descriptions do not list what software programs, lab equipment, etc. you will be expected to use. For these positions, finding out what engineering tools are used for the job you are expected to do gives you insight to how much they are willing to invest in helping their engineers perform their jobs. It also clarifies what the job will actually entail, and gives you talking points to align your skills to the work that they need completed. For example, if one job requires you do all of your sketches in Paint and another requires CAD, this may factor into your decision of where you would best fit.

I wish this wasn't an "engineering tool" I've seen people use.

Tailor this question to the types of tools you would expect to see at the job (especially ones you are trained to use!) since "engineering tools" is a pretty broad category. It will both give you a more meaningful answer, and let you highlight your skills (if they haven't already come up earlier in the interview).

Is there a training program? What does it entail?

If you are going to do technical work at a full time job, there should be a legitimate training program. Some internships include training or a mentoring program, although they are rarely as thorough since companies cannot afford to invest in short term employees as much. No matter how thorough your education is, there is plenty to learn in the specific area in which you will be working. When the training program is more of a "trial by fire" program, consider seriously how much of an issue it would be if you messed up and didn't have a mentor to correct you. If you are working on the landing gear for an airplane, this may be a bigger problem than if you are working on televisions. On the other hand some companies have such rigorous programs that employees are fired regularly before they "graduate", which can be an extremely stressful experience.

How would you describe the company culture?

It's an open ended question that I love to ask during interviews because I find that the unspoken reaction of the interviewer is often more important than the actual response. If they seem to be struggling to say something positive, that's indicative of a real problem.

How long has the position been open? Why is the position open?

These types of questions can help you assess if they are having difficulty filling the position or retaining employees. While these facts don't mean that a workplace is bad, you should take into consideration that there may be a reason everyone is leaving. Be careful when asking this, it can easily sound more aggressive than intended.

What is the career trajectory for this position? Where would you see me in 3 to 5 years? What are the advancement opportunities like?

If you imagine yourself quickly rising through the ranks at a new job, it's important to be sure that this is even an option. Some companies don't promote internally, others will quickly promote you out of an engineering role all together. 

Are there any social activities outside of work?

Some companies have coworkers who go out for drinks weekly, or play softball, or some other type of activity. Others never associate with each other outside of work and pretend they don't recognize each other if they run into somebody at the grocery store. If you are moving to a new town, having a built in group of friends may make a difference to you. If you are a misanthrope, required coworker hangouts may be the worst thing ever.

That's all the questions I have for now, thank you!

Hopefully at this point they'll say something that naturally leads to you asking for their business cards. If you really liked the job, don't be afraid to follow up. Hardly anyone ever does it these days, so this can really help you stand out.

Good luck!  

Love, 

Vanessa

PS. What questions do YOU wished you asked during an interview?

How To Make Yourself Heard

My first week at my new job, my supervisor asked me if I could quickly come to a meeting with him. I had no idea what the meeting was, but I swept my notebook off my desk and followed him through the maze of hallways to a conference room. Once I crossed threshold into the war room and noticed the sea of leather notebooks and iPads I realized that these were not fellow engineers. In fact, it was a meeting of supervisors, managers, and directors. But since I was totally new and hadn't met any of them yet, I could only tell that they were important.

WHAT AM I DOING HERE? I panicked. At my last job, my supervisor always briefed me days in advance if I was going to meet anyone important so I had time to prepare my presentation and not look like a total nincompoop. Given at the time I thought his briefings were totally unnecessary, but finding myself in some mystery meeting I began to wish I knew anything about what I should expect.

My supervisor motioned to a plush leather chair next to him, and I nervously sat down. A commanding middle aged man walked into the room, and the other men all fell completely silent. They began to discuss business, training of new engineers, who had been fired, and the path they wanted to take to success. On one hand I was excited to get to hear this information first hand, on the other hand I felt like I was peeking behind the curtain and I would be in trouble if anyone noticed me there. Maybe if I just leaned back a little I could disappear. Or maybe that would make me look lazy. Maybe I should be taking notes. But since none of these were action items for me I might look like a secretary.

And then, all of a sudden, the commanding man turned to me, "And what about you? Do you have anything to add? I'm sorry, I don't think I've met you yet..."

"Vanessa," I choked out.

"She's a new engineer here," my supervisor said.

"Well, Vanessa, do you have anything to add?"

Was I supposed to have something to add? What do people normally say? Am I missing some social cues here?

"Um, no," I smiled weakly, hoping the pathetic smile would help lessen the blow if I was expected to have some ground breaking answer.

"Okay," he said, moving onto the next subject.

It was the first time in ages I'd been afraid to speak up during a meeting, and I was ashamed of myself. I'm not a shy person by nature, but I was so distracted by mitigating the consequences of saying something off point that I ended up saying nothing. And when I say nothing (especially when asked) people presume that I have nothing to say, effectively causing the same problem if I had said something idiotic.

I wish this was just a personal problem, but research shows that in collaborative environments women spoke less than 75% of the time of their male counterparts. So apparently, I'm not the only one with a propensity for psyching myself out in a meeting.

Feeling like my voice had been stolen by a sea witch who had given me the chance to be a real engineer for a day was something I was familiar with from my intern days, but was a habit I kicked when I really listened to what other people were saying. They were not more qualified to speak than me, and my conclusions were no less valid that theirs. As an engineer, I am paid for my ability to solve problems. If I just sit in a room like a bump on a log while I let others solve the problem, I am not really doing my job.

If you don't get this reference, you got some Disney to watch.

So, I started speaking up in meetings. The first couple times it came out sounding more like an apologetic question than actual feedback. But eventually I became a regular participant in meetings- unabashedly sharing my knowledge and even disagreeing with other people when I felt otherwise. This isn't a business where they pass around a sharing stick to make sure everyone feels included, so if I had something to say I made sure to interject it. That didn't mean that I would chat through the entire meeting and make unfounded statements. Just that I was no longer afraid to act like people should respect my opinions. The world didn't implode, and once I learned how to speak in statements instead of questions people took my input seriously.

After years of practice it was second nature, which is what made the most recent case of meeting jitters so strange. Luckily it seems like it was a result of me not knowing what to expect and I've already gotten it back under control.

Have you ever had a tough time speaking up during meetings? How did you convince yourself to speak up?

Love,

Vanessa

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How To Deal With Work Exams

I remember the feeling of relief after I took my last final senior year. I remember going out with friends and celebrating taking our "last exams ever".  I remember being ecstatic that I'd never have to study, cram, and stress over a graded assignment. Looking back I don't know how this rumor of the "last exam ever" is accepted as fact by the majority of graduating engineering students, when many of them will have to start taking qualifying exams for work just a few weeks later.

If only there were such a thing, it would probably be awesome

Sorry engineering students who think they will never be tested again, but I've taken countless classes, quizzes, and exams since graduating college.

In fact, just a few weeks ago, my manager beckoned me to his office. I don't know why but I still have a principal's office syndrome about being called into managers' offices; I am always convinced I'm in trouble even though I know I'm a top performing employee. He told me I'd be taking an exam  for a professional certification in two weeks, and that I should get the study guide today.

Paging through the 1400 page study guide, I realized that I knew practically nothing about the subject. I looked up exam reviews online, and all the recommendations said I should take six months to study. And I had just two weeks to learn it all while still making all of my project deadlines (because my clients don't care that I'm taking some exam that isn't related to their system). Cue me freaking out.

It was like finals week all over, except this time if I failed, I wasn't the only one to pay the price- my company would suffer too because they wouldn't be able to use my certification. I studied every minute I had available the first week: lunches, weekends, after work, flashcards when I got up. The second week my work signed me up for a cram course and we ate, slept, and breathed the course material. During breaks I delegated project pieces to people in my home office, returned client emails, and tried to network with the other students (who worked for a range of potential clients).

And at the end of all of this, was a day long exam. My boss drove me to the test,  and all I could think about was how awkward the drive home would be if I failed. The test itself was a whirlwind (as most tests are)  and the entire day disappeared in what seemed to be a matter of minutes. As I clicked the submit button, I winced.  I was sure I was in for the most uncomfortable hour long car ride of my life. The proctor walked over to my station,  his feet thumping slowly in rhythm with the frantic clicking of test takers.  He handed me a single piece of paper and my stomach dropped.

"Why do you look so sad?" he asked.

"Honestly? I just don't think this went very well," I sighed.

He gave me a confused look and pointed at a line mid-way through the page he'd given me which read: "VANESSA POCKET has passed" in bold letters. A wave of relief washed over me.

In reality, the worst part of exam was the pressure I put on myself. And while a certain amount of pressure helps drive me to success, I had to try to leave out any thought of self doubt while I studied in order to allow myself to learn. If you take a moment to breath and quiet the critical voices in your mind, you can get back into the studying grove that let you get your engineering degree in the first place.

So work exams may exist, and they can be hard and stressful, but they are also a chance to prove your engineering prowess. In an industry where others sometimes presume your gender is the reason for your success, it can be a blessing to have hard results that show your skills. So think of life with exams as a positive thing, and go forth and own them!

Love,

Vanessa

Who's The Boss?

When I go to meet a client at the beginning of new projects that I have been assigned to lead,  I often bring along coworkers or subordinates who will also be working on the project. Before the first meeting, my client speaks only with people who are in the equivalent of sales positions, so it is often the first time the client meets any of our engineers. We all are dressed in equivalent business casual wear,  and carry matching folders and pens. I wear my hair in neat, professional styles and wear simple makeup. I give a firm handshake, and look my clients directly in the eyes. I am also always the only woman not only in my team, but in the entire meeting.

Regardless of my efforts to make stellar first impressions,  about 80% of the time clients who don't know me presume my subordinates or coworkers are my boss. This includes times when they are handed a piece of paper that reads "Vanessa - Project Lead" at the beginning of the meeting. It's actually quite fascinating to watch, because you could probably hold a billboard with an arrow pointing to me proclaiming "SHE'S THE BOSS" but the average client would still dismiss it.

Yes, I know she's the same in both halves. But how my behavior doesn't change just because others perceive it differently.

Given, this is straightened out as soon as the project starts and they notice that I am the one who assigns work, answers their questions, etc. But the interim period is filled with some awkward exchanges like:

Client: "Vanessa can you ask Joe if you can work late?"
Me: "I'm more than happy to stay."
Client: "Do you want to clear it with Joe?"
Me: "It's fine,  Joe doesn't determine my work schedule. He's actually working on this project for me."
Client: "Okay... if you are sure."

And when your coworkers see that people already think they are the boss, it gives them an opportunity to easily usurp whatever power you have been given on a project. Sometimes, people in my office who are unrelated to the project start to pose as my boss for no particular reason, adding to the confusion.

Client: "Luke told me that he was going to pull you off site on Tuesday for some paperwork in your home office. Will this have an impact on your deadline?"
Me: "Oh really? I hadn't heard that before."
Client: "Well he said he's pulling you back..."
Me: "I can ask my boss, David. But Luke is a support engineer, so he shouldn't need to me back for anything."
(Note: I was never supposed to leave site, but Luke did apparently that to my client. I'm still unclear as why this happened.)

This may surprise you but my first reaction was not to blame my client's reactions on my gender, but to try and evaluate how I could change these impressions. Was it something about how I act, how I carry myself, how I dress or how I speak?

But when clients who knew me continuously complimented my professionalism and called me directly with future projects, I realized that upon first impression the main thing that makes me appear to be anything less than my teammates is actually my gender. There are so few women in my industry in general, that people don't usually assume a woman is an engineer- let alone a technical lead.

But so what? As long as my clients are happy, my bosses don't really care who leads a project. If I start as project lead and other people take over the project, then it will seem like I am incompetent. Appearing incompetent will actually make me less likely to get raises, get promotions, and be designated as the project lead in the future. The problem with the initial "who's the boss" mix up is every time I have a new client I fight an uphill battle to prove the competency I've proven to my bosses and coworkers over the years as quickly as possible.

I know the initial assumption that a woman isn't the boss doesn't have the same impact at every engineering organization, and in some more female dominated fields it probably isn't even an issue anymore. But for positions like mine the slight undertone of sexism makes it just a little harder to earn respect for the work I do. It's not that I think that the people who make these assumptions intend to be vicious, or make my life harder. I barely know them at the time, so I doubt that they have some evil plan for my professional demise. Perhaps the worst part is that I can't say that I would make any different assumption if the tables were flipped, because honestly a woman in a leadership position in my industry is extremely unusual.

It's because of this that organizations that promote female engineers are so important. Because, in the "real world" there are still undertones of sexism that will only be solved by a ton of amazing female engineers dealing with uncomfortable situations, and proving that gender is irrelevant measure of engineering prowess one client at a time.

Love,

Vanessa

How to Own at Engineering Career Fairs

It is that time of year again! The sweet smell of panicking students wafts through the air as they nervously mumble their elevator speeches to themselves on their way to class. Maybe it feels like you just did this last month, maybe this is your first time. Regardless, let me welcome you into the world of career fairs.

Engineering career fairs in their purest form are a very different beast from any other type of event. Eager students will wait in lines for over two hours for a chance to talk to a recruiter for two minutes. There isn't any pushing or cutting the line (which I hear happens at business fairs) because engineering jobs all comes down to your skills, not your aggressiveness.

The range of what companies expect and look for in a prospective intern/employee is fairly extreme. Some companies won't take you seriously if you don't make the effort to wear a suit,  and others will pursue you harder if you come in an old set of sweat pants and a tie-dye t-shirt. The latter company tends to believe if you show up in your pajamas, you are probably smart enough to not need to compensate with style. Other companies will see this as unprofessional and lazy, and will immediately disregard you as a potential employee.

So how do you know how to prepare yourself? Get in touch with your inner nerd and research the companies before you go! When I attended fairs I made a spreadsheet with the company name, field of work, open positions, and ranked each one in terms of my interest. With a little additional research on my top ten picks, I would go into the career fair prepared to make everyone feel I'd come specifically to see their booth.

I realize that  this might sound over-the top to you, but even if you aren't feeling particularly inspired you should at least do the following:

• Print plenty of copies of your resume.
• Leave your cellphone behind. You don't need any extra distractions and the risk of your alarm going off is not worth it.
• Prepare an elevator speech which highlights your qualifications.
• Wear a conservative outfit, with shoes you can actually walk in.
• Get somebody else to approve your makeup and hair before you go inside. Don't wear clown and/or street walker levels of eye shadow and lipstick.
• Bring a professional looking bag to carry all of the "swag" (aka crap) that the recruiters hand out.

In "normal" career fairs this is the end of required preparation. But in engineering career fairs, it is not uncommon for employers to require on-the-spot verbal or written exams to prove basic technical competencies. If you really have your heart set on a position with a specific company, research this beforehand, too. Study any of the languages, computer programs, or skills your dream company has listed as preferred because these quizzes can really cover anything.

For example, when I was a freshman in college, a recruiter handed me a paper after five minutes of talking about my resume: "If you don't mind, I'd like to ask you to take this quiz so we can determine your level of programming skill and where you would best fit in our organization."

Me: "Sure,  no problem."

I sat down at their quizzing desk and read the first question. It wanted me to write a short programming script to solve a problem in a language I not only didn't know, but had never even heard of. I didn't know the syntax, I didn't even know if it was object oriented or not. All I could think of was how awkward it would be for me to just cut my losses, slink away from the desk, and just pretend it never happened.

I glanced up, the recruiter was standing with her arms folded, watching me. Fuck. This was going to be really awkward. So I just wrote the answer in a different programming language, and on the last page I scribbled the word "Sorry."

I stood up, smiled, handed it the damning exam to the recruiter after having come up with no inconspicuous ways to accidentally drop it in coffee or otherwise destroy it, exchanged a few pleasantries, and then booked it away from their booth as fast as possible. Needless to say, I didn't send a follow up email.

Everyone has an awkward experience sometimes. But just go ahead, collect yourself, and move on to the next booth. The very next group I talked to that day had an exam on systems that I excelled at and I walked away with an interview for the following day.

So my advice is: do your homework, and then go in confident of your skills, look those recruiters in the eye and convince them of the truth: they would be lucky to have you on their team.

Break a leg!

Vanessa

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